Over the years I have realized that time by yourself allows you to get to know yourself. When you are around others we are more prone to compare ourselves to our peers. Or we began to model ourselves behind someone else. You were fearfully, wonderfully and uniquely created, set apart. We are not meant to be just like anyone else. Carbon copies are meant for paper not people.
Take time for yourself get to know you what you like what you don’t like. Learn your ways what annoys you and what makes you smile. Discover your favorite past times, explore a new area in your city, find a new hobby, learn you. If you spend all your time with someone else be it a friend a significant other you will never know yourself and who you are without the addition of someone else.
I know people who have never been without a mate, they don’t know themselves without having a partner. The sad thing is I don’t know them without that significant other.
Allow yourself and the people around you to get to know the real true you.
So many times we hear from doctors and medical professionals that after the age of 35 women are more at risk for producing children with physical and mental disabilities. I didn’t realize until now that this statement affected my thoughts about not wanting children. After years of putting my life on hold and assisting with raising my nieces and nephew I had thoughts of not having children. It was hard for me to considering having my own children because of some of the difficulties that came along with my nieces, and the fact that I was single Sally for so long and still am single. As each year goes by and I get older or more mature as I like to say, I see everyone around me having children getting married creating families and most of them are younger than me. Over the past 5 years baby fever has definitely hit me hard, the problem is I’m still single. I’m happy being me just waiting for the right person.
At this point in time most women would say their biological clock is ticking and they need to hurry up and have children. I believe that God will allow it all to happen in His timing.
For the women out there who are watching that biological clock you’re wasting time, focus on what’s positive in your life, your career,hobbies,great friends and family, god-child and most importantly your relationship with God. God will provide in His timing,prayer and faith should be your focus not watching a biological clock.
Sometimes being transparent can help others deal with the situations they are dealing with, because nine times out of ten our life situations are similar.
Delay is not denial, and denied doesn’t mean God hasn’t prepared something greater for you. Growing up I have been dreaming, wishing, hoping, and praying for the day when I would have the dream job and the dream husband. Now as that I have reached an age when I thought it would have happened already or would be happening it makes me think where did I go wrong or what have I been doing that is so wrong. Then I think about all the women who didn’t do the right things, who did everything the unconventional way and have kids and great jobs and husbands. Then I stand here confused, bewildered just really not understanding where my life is headed.
As many people who I have around me who love me, encourage, and motivate me I still sometimes feel like life sucks sometimes and I don’t have anything I desire in life. I am constantly praying for things to change and get better. People always ask who I am dating or where is my man but never have they tried to hook me up with anyone either, So I wonder is the concern genuine or not. Then other’s who always ask about my state of employment or if I finished that book or started that business. Sometimes it’s like, if I haven’t told you it hasn’t happened or if I haven’t told you it because I don’t desire for you to know.
I just know that life comes with ups and downs you take the good with the bad. At the end of the day, live your life for you not the expectations of others. Don’t date a man or woman because they look like a fit and will please your friends and family don’t forget about you. Don’t wait for the beginning of a new year to do something you always wanted let the idea spark cause you to move forward with your goals period.
I needed that break, I needed to clear my mind take care of me refocus ,but I’m back like I never left. Thank you all for bearing with me, and I appreciate those of you who are still rocking with me.
As the year comes to an end I’m in a place where I’m ending certain things and preparing to start new things. This is not because it’s the end of the year it’s just because it’s much-needed in my life. Sometimes that’s what a little me time will do for you, give you clarity. Sometimes that break will give you the option to remove things that aren’t necessary and make room for what you desire.
I hope you all will continue this ride with me.
FYI that book is coming soon 🙂
Merry Christmas , Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa
Until next time
One of my favorite television shows had me thinking last night. Being Mary Jane always has me thinking, but last night man I got a revelation. When Many Jane realized that her issues with men and her relationships stemmed from her mother, man that hit home. I always knew that our parents relationships had an affect on how we date and future relationships. It was something about last night that made me realized how much my choice in men is affected by my mother’s complaints about my dad. My mother named me A’Teirrah to be the opposite of her so I wouldn’t do the same things as her fyi my mother’s name is Harriet if you pay close attention to the spelling of our names you’ll get it.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mother always says she feels like she rushed into a relationship and marriage with my dad. Her mother made her feel as though if she didn’t marry my dad that she really wouldn’t have much of a choice of men. My mother always says to me don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s not that my mother didn’t love my dad they were married for 11 years. It was just some of my dads ways she couldn’t live with anymore which caused the divorce. My mother just wants me to be careful who I choose to make that lifetime commitment of marriage with. Another thing about it all is that I try so hard to pick someone who doesn’t have the negative characteristics of my dad I forget to look for someone who encompasses the positive characteristics.
I noticed that every time I meet a guy I weed them out based on some similar characteristic to my dad, I realized that sometimes I don’t give guys a chance. Then I have those moments where I say hey give the next guy a chance and then it feels like I’m giving the wrong guy a chance and weeding out the ones that should have a chance. So then I wonder do I give every guy that takes interest or is potential a chance, this dating thing is a challenge.
Everyone has advice. I have asked my brother’s my friends, my family , I have read the books listen to the ministers prayed and fasted I’ve done it all. I’ve tried speed dating, online dating etc, I’ve even taking breaks to make sure I am ready to be courted and to be married. Am I going too stop trying different avenues probably not because you just never know how you will meet the one. One thing is for sure I will never pursue, I’m just not that kind of woman. I will make myself available, I will show interest but never will I pursue a man.
I will keep waiting because I refuse to settle for less than what I know God will provide.
Today marks two years of blogging. I am proud of myself for the consistent content that I have produced. I enjoy writing and sharing my life and the things around me. I know my listening ear and sharing my experience prior to blogging helped people around me. I thought merging the two would be even more of a help to others. I am grateful to those of you who have supported and continue to support my blog. I look forward to sharing my upcoming endeavors with you all.
Keep coming back more encouraging, motivational, inspirational and fashionable blog posts are to come. As I grow and change you I hope that you will change and grow too.