One of my favorite television shows had me thinking last night. Being Mary Jane always has me thinking, but last night man I got a revelation. When Many Jane realized that her issues with men and her relationships stemmed from her mother, man that hit home. I always knew that our parents relationships had an affect on how we date and future relationships. It was something about last night that made me realized how much my choice in men is affected by my mother’s complaints about my dad. My mother named me A’Teirrah to be the opposite of her so I wouldn’t do the same things as her fyi my mother’s name is Harriet if you pay close attention to the spelling of our names you’ll get it.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mother always says she feels like she rushed into a relationship and marriage with my dad. Her mother made her feel as though if she didn’t marry my dad that she really wouldn’t have much of a choice of men. My mother always says to me don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s not that my mother didn’t love my dad they were married for 11 years. It was just some of my dads ways she couldn’t live with anymore which caused the divorce. My mother just wants me to be careful who I choose to make that lifetime commitment of marriage with. Another thing about it all is that I try so hard to pick someone who doesn’t have the negative characteristics of my dad I forget to look for someone who encompasses the positive characteristics.
I noticed that every time I meet a guy I weed them out based on some similar characteristic to my dad, I realized that sometimes I don’t give guys a chance. Then I have those moments where I say hey give the next guy a chance and then it feels like I’m giving the wrong guy a chance and weeding out the ones that should have a chance. So then I wonder do I give every guy that takes interest or is potential a chance, this dating thing is a challenge.
Everyone has advice. I have asked my brother’s my friends, my family , I have read the books listen to the ministers prayed and fasted I’ve done it all. I’ve tried speed dating, online dating etc, I’ve even taking breaks to make sure I am ready to be courted and to be married. Am I going too stop trying different avenues probably not because you just never know how you will meet the one. One thing is for sure I will never pursue, I’m just not that kind of woman. I will make myself available, I will show interest but never will I pursue a man.
I will keep waiting because I refuse to settle for less than what I know God will provide.
Today marks two years of blogging. I am proud of myself for the consistent content that I have produced. I enjoy writing and sharing my life and the things around me. I know my listening ear and sharing my experience prior to blogging helped people around me. I thought merging the two would be even more of a help to others. I am grateful to those of you who have supported and continue to support my blog. I look forward to sharing my upcoming endeavors with you all.
Keep coming back more encouraging, motivational, inspirational and fashionable blog posts are to come. As I grow and change you I hope that you will change and grow too.
I’ve spent so many years of my life doing for others and being there for others. Which I will never stop doing because that’s the woman God created me to be giving, loyal , caring and considerate. I love helping others, it’s such a rewarding feeling. Although I have to know how to balance being there for others and being there for myself. I’ve made it my mission to embrace this summer not only with the great things that Chicago offers but a little traveling as well. I need to have my own fun. I encourage you all to make time this summer to embrace time for self and do something, better yet somethings you’ve been wanting to do. I love myself now more than I ever have in life, I feel beautiful inside and out. I am embracing all of me and this summer and life in front of me.
Summer I’m COMING FOR YOU FULL FORCE !!!
Many times in life we spend so much time holding on to something or someone that we should have let go a long time ago. We spend time thinking about that thing or person trying to figure how how to make it continue to fit into the life we live. We must realize that energy and time is being wasted. Don’t allow these things or people to consume you it’s time to fully let them go. Don’t partially hang on trying to convince yourself that they are worth holding on to you need to “Let Go and Let God.” I know all to well how it feels, I’ve done it to myself several times. I realize that I am doing nothing but hurting myself even more than before. So these things that don’t benefit you, get rid of them clothes you can’t wear or “fit” give them to good will or the thrift store. Those toxic people or the ones just taking up space it’s okay to let them go. If you have to question whether or not they are worth keeping 9 times out of 10 they are not worth it.
Free yourself of anything that could be blocking your blessings. We tend to block our blessing because we don’t have room for them. When we release those things or people then we make room for God’s blessing you with who or what you need and desire.
So get to it, Don’t delay any longer it’s time for Spring Cleaning .
So many people look for love in so many of the wrong people and places. There are also times when people think that certain negative actions are deemed as love. I know there are many who didn’t grow up in a loving home. My mother constantly told me and showed me love as well as extended family and friends. Thanks to my upbringing I know what love looks and feels like. I bet you are wondering where I am going with this talk about love. Well I just want to remind you that the Greatest Love of All is God!!!
Romans 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
This morning as I was driving to work I listened to Kierra Sheards song indescribable, it was a live version. There is a part where she says “You saw the depths of my heart and you love me the same, you are amazing God.” Tears streamed down my face because I thought about how I have thought, felt and done things in my life that God doesn’t approve of but His love for me doesn’t change. His love is so unconditional His love never wavers. If you think about it so many of the most successful people that have lived on earth have some of the most jacked up past lives, but God. God sustained them loved the hell right out of them and turned them in to some of His Best work. We need to know if we are willing vessels He can do the same with us.
Titus 3:4-5 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.
It’s so great when you believe and trust in a God who will love you, protect you, give to you, provide for you even when you have failed or messed up, when your heart wasn’t right. The mistake that many people make is thinking they have to get themselves together to go to God. NOPE! He said come as you are, and He loves you right where you are in life.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
So stop looking for validation in man, stop expecting a man or woman to love you the way God loves you. Your parents are the only ones who come close to loving you like God, but guess what they are human just like you which means there may be some conditons to their love. It’s important to love self and learn to embrace yourself flaws and all. Allow God to show you what true love and that good love on earth will come your way.
Psalm 136:2 Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.