One of my favorite television shows had me thinking last night. Being Mary Jane always has me thinking, but last night man I got a revelation. When Many Jane realized that her issues with men and her relationships stemmed from her mother, man that hit home. I always knew that our parents relationships had an affect on how we date and future relationships. It was something about last night that made me realized how much my choice in men is affected by my mother’s complaints about my dad. My mother named me A’Teirrah to be the opposite of her so I wouldn’t do the same things as her fyi my mother’s name is Harriet if you pay close attention to the spelling of our names you’ll get it.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mother always says she feels like she rushed into a relationship and marriage with my dad. Her mother made her feel as though if she didn’t marry my dad that she really wouldn’t have much of a choice of men. My mother always says to me don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s not that my mother didn’t love my dad they were married for 11 years. It was just some of my dads ways she couldn’t live with anymore which caused the divorce. My mother just wants me to be careful who I choose to make that lifetime commitment of marriage with. Another thing about it all is that I try so hard to pick someone who doesn’t have the negative characteristics of my dad I forget to look for someone who encompasses the positive characteristics.
I noticed that every time I meet a guy I weed them out based on some similar characteristic to my dad, I realized that sometimes I don’t give guys a chance. Then I have those moments where I say hey give the next guy a chance and then it feels like I’m giving the wrong guy a chance and weeding out the ones that should have a chance. So then I wonder do I give every guy that takes interest or is potential a chance, this dating thing is a challenge.
Everyone has advice. I have asked my brother’s my friends, my family , I have read the books listen to the ministers prayed and fasted I’ve done it all. I’ve tried speed dating, online dating etc, I’ve even taking breaks to make sure I am ready to be courted and to be married. Am I going too stop trying different avenues probably not because you just never know how you will meet the one. One thing is for sure I will never pursue, I’m just not that kind of woman. I will make myself available, I will show interest but never will I pursue a man.
I will keep waiting because I refuse to settle for less than what I know God will provide.
I CONTINUE TO SURROUND MYSELF WITH THOSE WHO’S MOTIVATION, MOTIVATES ME TO STAY MOTIVATED AND MOVE FORWARD WITH MY GOALS!!!
You gave to make a decision to surround yourself with positive go getter people if that is what you desire to be. Ask questions don’t be ashamed or afraid of the unknown. I use to be afraid to ask questions but I got a revelation that if you don’t ask you won’t ever know. It can be a difficult task but it’s well worth it to sift your friends like wheat. I made it my business to only surround myself with those who are like-minded or better minded (laughing but serious) than myself. That way they can show me I can ask questions I can grow and move forward. The people around me also motivate me, encourage, me tell me the truth especially when they know it will hurt my feeling but assist in my growth. Don’t be surprised if you are no longer on my list of people who I communicate with on a regular basis. I mean let’s be real you already know who you are because you don’t have my best interest at heart. It’s okay move on with your life know that I’m praying for you.
As for those of you who are my rocks, my cheerleaders, and I am yours lets keep moving forward, praying, encouraging, motivating, pushing and truth-telling so that we may all excel in life.
Today marks two years of blogging. I am proud of myself for the consistent content that I have produced. I enjoy writing and sharing my life and the things around me. I know my listening ear and sharing my experience prior to blogging helped people around me. I thought merging the two would be even more of a help to others. I am grateful to those of you who have supported and continue to support my blog. I look forward to sharing my upcoming endeavors with you all.
Keep coming back more encouraging, motivational, inspirational and fashionable blog posts are to come. As I grow and change you I hope that you will change and grow too.
People will say and do things that will annoy you and get under your skin. I just allowed a situation to bother me and get under my skin, I allowed it to mess with my joy. I had to pause, and pray. I wasn’t mu normal silly happy go lucky self. As much as I want to go off and curse, I know it won’t solve the problem it won’t change what has already occurred. After conversing with my sisters and realized I wasn’t alone in my feelings I felt better. I can now give a positive clap back and let it go, besides its Friday Summer time Chi, Im trying to enjoy myself and I don’t need negative distractions. Just remember “Every clap back doesn’t have to be negative”. Respond it Peace so you can keep your peace.